The League: A Fishy Fantasy
by ztoulon
Summary: It is the offseason now, and with nothing to do until football season is back, the guys try and have some fun with a fantasy league of their own.


The League: A Fishy Fantasy

"TACCCOOOOOOO" yelled Kevin, as he walked into his living room only to see a huge fish tank with eight fish in it. Taco was nowhere to be found, of course. Jenny, Ellie, and CB, or Chalupa Batman, came into the house shortly after Kevin. It was a typical family trip to the grocery store, which never goes as planned for the MacArthur's. It was no surprise that Kevin came straight inside and went to take a shit instead of helping with the groceries. While sitting on the toilet Kevin got a sniff of something all too familiar. He then knew that Taco was indeed at his house.

As Kevin finished taking the browns to the Super Bowl, Taco came downstairs holding his guest bong as the embers were still cherried from being sparked a few short seconds ago. "What the fuck is this fish tank doing in my living room Taco?!" asked Kevin. Taco replied, "Did you not see my message on the fantasy chat? Its for our offseason fantasy league. We each get to draft a fish and whichever one survives the longest represents the winner!" Taco then left to go begin a new business venture, leaving Kevin and his family very confused about the fish.

Each fish in the tank was a Betta fish, except they were the newly discovered Giant Betta Fish, which can grow up to fourteen inches long. They are also very well known for fighting each other when in the same tank. And in this one hundred gallon tank, which was about six feet wide and a little bit less than two feet in both width and height. Each individual fish had a different mark, fin, or characteristic that made it easier to distinguish the differences between them.

Finally as Jenny got CB and Ellie put away for their nap, Ruxin made his way into the MacArthur household. His hands were very full and he called Kevin outside to help him carry stuff into their house. Surprisingly Kevin actually got up to help him, and Ruxin stated, "Wow your lazy ass for once decides to help with something! I can't imagine what its like for Jenny to always wear the pants in your marriage!" as he was laughing. Little did Kevin know that he was helping to carry in the materials for another one of Ruxin's poorly thought out plans. When all of Ruxin's shit was brought inside, Kevin realized it was another tank. However this tank had sand and rocks in the bottom, so he asked "Ruxin what on earth is all of this for?" Ruxin replied, "its for these!" as he held up another smaller container with 8 lizards in it. Kevin screamed so loud that Jenny came running out of the office area ready to smack him. "I just put CB and Ellie to sleep you idiot!" Jenny said quietly, but clearly in a tone you knew was never good.

Pete and Andre made their way over to Kevin and Jenny's house after a 'bro lunch' and Andre kept insisting him and Pete went on. When they walked into the house, Ruxin blurted out "Damn Pete, that is stone cold of you, cheating on your not so secret lover Kevin like that" and Pete replied, "Shut it ass hole." Ruxin then showed the lizards to Pete and Andre who were even more confused as they had just seen the fish tank with eight pretty big Betta fish. At that time Taco came back, and was proud to announce his idea he had previously shared with Kevin to the rest of the guys. Ruxin however was not having it, "I finally have a good plan for the offseason, and here Taco is with the same exact plan but using fish instead of Lizards." Taco replied, "we can do both Ruspin!" as he took another hit out of his guest bong, which this time was made out of an old flower vase. As they were talking about the logistics of drafting the fish and lizards, one of the lizards somehow snuck out of the cage. Kevin, the commissioner, was finishing up writing down the rules for this unique offseason fantasy league, Ruxin noticed that one of the lizards had gotten out. "I see it!" exclaimed Kevin as he jumped across the room to try and grab it. However the new giant fish tank was in the way and when Kevin jumped he tripped over the coffee table and smacked the whole left side of his body against the fish tank. That caused the fish tank to fall over because it was on a quick homemade table that Taco said he had found the parts for on the road while he was on his way to Kevin's house. All of the water and fish came pouring out all over the living room hardwood floors.

With a lizard now on the loose and a living room full of water and fish, Jenny heard the commotion and was beyond pissed off now. Ellie woke up and came into the living room and Chalupa Batman was crying now due to all of the noise. Ruxin was furious too. Not only did Taco supposedly copy his idea for some offseason fun, but now one of the lizards got free in the MacArthur's house. "Forever unclean!" Ruxin yelled as he stormed out of the house. He had to make multiple trips before he left for good though. He was so mad that he wanted to return all of the lizards and the tank and leave the fantasy league. "Its too bad that you shitsippers have to ruin everything like usual" Ruxin said while pouting as he left for the last time.


End file.
